Morning Wood
by SunlitSky21
Summary: On a bright fine morning, The brother to the Shodaime Hokage, Tobirama Senju, is mentally scarred due to a *ahem* misinterpretation of dialogue. Crack, Extreme amounts of Crack. Rated T for innuendo.


**Morning Wood**

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 **Disclaimer:** ** **em**** ** ** **yb****** ** ** ** **denwo******** ** ** ** ** **ton********** ** ** ** **si******** **oturaN.  
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It was a fine and bright morning in the newly estabilshed village of Konoha. The birds were chirping, The streets were starting to fill with people. The sky was a peaceful bright blue.

In the compound of one of the two greatest clans in the village, The Senju Clan , people were going about their daily businesses.

The hokage, Hashirama was sleeping peacefully in one of the rooms.

By coincidence or twisted fate, the room in which Hashirama was sleeping was exactly like one other room. Even the doors were the same. Thus, due to the rooms being adjacent to each other on the same floor, it was easy to mistake one room for another.

Tobirama,the man who was hailed as the most powerful shinobi after his brother and his rival, had woken up late ,which was quite unusual. Deciding to see if his brother had woken up, Tobirama walked upstairs to reach the floor where Hashirama was sleeping. In his sleepy state, he failed to differentiate between the two rooms. Which led to the following events:

Tobirama walked up to the door and was about to knock when he heard something that made him freeze up.

"...morning wood," rang out a female voice.

Tobirama , now wide awake, started twitching. That voice was Mito's and with the words he heard... he had a faint idea about what was happening and was about to leave, when he heard another thing, which led to his jaw almost dropping to the floor.

A male, _definitely_ male voice said," It has grown so big. Last time I saw it, it was barely three inches long and now, look at it! As expected from Hashirama."

Tobirama started sweating now. That voice was definitely Madara's! What in the name of the sage's heavenly sausage?!

Moving stealthily, he pressed his ear to the door to listen more closely.

"You really know what you are doing, Uzumaki. "said Madara.

"Well, yeah sure, I have had lots of practice. "came out Mito's voice.

A terrible, terrible idea started taking form in Tobirama's mind. Nevertheless, he continued to listen.

"Oh, is that so? That's quite a hobby you have got there. "Said Madara.

"Well, it helps me loosen up and even Hashirama enjoys it!"said Mito.

"Maybe I should start doing it. It certainly seems like a great way to start the morning.", Madara said in a cheerful voice.

Tobirama choked on his spit. For Madara to say something like that so cheerfully...

Mito continued, "I can teach if you want. It's all in the hands."

Madara said," I see."

Mito asked," Well, do you want to help prune it?"

Madara replied, "It _is_ getting quite bushy. Very well then. Let's start."

Tobirama's complexion was that of a pale bedsheet by now. Biting his tongue so as to not let out a scream, on the verge of fainting, he stepped back.

So stunned was Tobirama, that he hadn't noticed that he had subconsciously moved in front of the door adjacent to the door that he had been leaning on. The other door, which led to the room Hashirama was _actually_ sleeping in. However, Tobirama was not yet aware of that fact.

" _Alright, that does it!_ " thought Tobirama. Slamming the door open, the white haired man barged inside.

Hashirama woke with a start. And boy was he puzzled. Why was Tobirama standing there stiffly( _well, stiffer than normal_ ) with a hand over his eyes?

Before he could say anything, Tobirama shouted," I didn't expect this from you, brother! Mito, I understand, but even Madara! That bond certainly goes beyond 'best friends'."

Too embarrassed to say anything further, Tobirama turned around and exited the room, slamming the door shut.

Poor Hashirama was left with a confused and stupefied expression, wondering what the fuck was Tobirama talking about.

In the adjacent room, Mito and Madara were whistling a merry tune, happily tending to a little bonsai plant Mito had fondly named Morning Wood, due to the colour of the leaves being similar to the colour of the morning sun. The little bonsai plant had been a gift from Hashirama to Mito and was grown with the Mokuton.

I do wonder, what was going on through Tobirama's mind for him to have such a violent outburst? Alas, It will remain a mystery forevermore.

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 **Author's Note: Just a little idea that came to my mind.**

 **I have finally embraced my pervertedness.**

 **Sigh.**

 **There is a Jiraiya in all of us, my friends.**

 **Please tell me what you thought.**

 **This is SunlitSky21, signing out...**


End file.
